Take Care Of Yourself

Take Care Of Yourself - Because no one else will.

Some of us are lucky enough to have managed to get love right. To find that partner, our soul mate, our through thick and thin. They have each others back and genuinely enjoy each others company. They fight of course, and consider ending it all. But their commitment to each other pulls them back.

I see these couples, and I both envy and admire them. I was such a self assured young woman, thought I didn't need a man, and I didn't. But now I do.

You see I'm 51 years old now. My beauty and vitality are fading. A serious health condition is not helping in that area. Who has time for manicures and facials when managing 103 fevers and chills. Just getting out of bed is an accomplishment.

I had married, have two grown children who live with me. They are beginning in their relationships and I am reminded of the thrill of being in love, in everything being ok because of that one fact. Unfortunately, I never loved their father. Ours was a marriage born from an unexpected pregnancy. We are friends now, and are committed in our love for our daughters, but ours was never a true love. He was 14 years my senior and of another culture. It just never meshed. In my ignorance I thought nothing of our differences. Yet music alone separated us. He was oldies, I was Led Zeppelin. Our common ground was Earth, Wind and Fire.

There was my great high school love, the one I "should" have married. Except that the thought of my world being defined by my suburban upbringing scared the shit out of me. I had to get away, move into the city, see the world. His wife never left New Jersey.

But when it comes time when you need a helping hand. Who is there for you...really there for you?
For me, the answer is....me. That's it. Others tell you "take care of yourself" and they mean it, because they sure as hell aren't going to take care of you. They have their own lives, their own dramas.

To Thine Own Self Be True.